We are approaching summer, my favorite time of the year. Although Washington DC is hot and muggy, I love the light, and the colors of summer. I relish the succession of blooming flowers, and how they make me feel alive. Life seems to be less constricted, as I shed my jackets, scarves, and hats, exchanging them for clothing that feels less burdensome. This year, we have the added gift of the eerie sound of the Brood X cicadas. These fascinating creatures, coming up from the ground every 17 years, are regaling us with their song for a few weeks. Their lifecycle might seem meaningless at first glance. I think of their short lifespan and the quick succession of events in their lives, as they emerge from the ground, sing, mate, and die, returning to the ground, coming back in 17 years, just to do it all over again. I know that unless I choose to live an examined life, my life might resemble the life of the cicada, automatically repeating actions, maybe out of obligation, maybe out of the certainty provided by a tight routine. The beauty of their wings, their haphazard flight pattern and their size makes me think of these animals as very fragile—after all, they seem to be easy prey for my windshield. Their beauty and the dangers to which they are exposed remind me of my own fragility, as I think about the potential perils of my existence.
Cicadas are a good reminder that the order of the cosmos is beyond my understanding. Their existence prompts me to search for meaning in my fleeting life. Meaning comes from Judaism, and more specifically, from the way in which I have infused my Jewish practice with the insights of Jewish mysticism. In the coming weeks I will share with you some insights of our tradition that help me make sense of the world, and find meaning in life. Let me start from one mystical idea about the beginning of the universe.
In the beginning, there was just Ayn Sof, a way of understanding God as the Being Without (Ayn) End (Sof). This insight from the Kabbalah explains that Ayn Sof was everything and was everywhere, without limitations, beginnings or endings, without will. Unknowable and incomprehensible, Ayn Sof (for reasons that will forever remain a mystery) underwent a process of tsimtsum, a process of withdrawal or contraction, so that the world could be created, so that energy could be organized in more productive ways. This energy was divided into ten vessels that would contain the different aspects of the power that the Being Without End was separating and structuring. Ultimately these vessels could not contain the energy emanating from Ayn Sof, and they broke, shattering into sparks and shards, creating the universe that we know. Their structure, the sefirot (more on them in the coming weeks) of the Tree of Life, remained, so that we could understand Ayn Sof through the earthly expressions of God’s energies.
Understanding God as Ayn Sof helps me connect with the mystery of the Divine in this world. I might understand some of God’s manifestations more easily than others, yet ultimately, God is Eternal, Unknowable, the Being Without End. Ayn Sof is beyond my understanding in contrast with me, a being that has an end (yesh sof). I have boundaries and limitations, and one day I will have an end, like the Brood X cicadas. I choose to live embracing the mystery of Ayn Sof, exploring and reflecting on all the wonders that I find in this world, including these fascinating creatures. And when I recognize that to have (as in yesh sof) is not better than not to have (as in Ayn Sof) I welcome my limitations as well as my achievements with a fuller heart.