This past week I was very angry at Whoopi Goldberg for her assertion in the television program The View that the Holocaust was not about race, that it was about people being inhuman to one another. When challenged by a co-host who said that she was wrong, that it was indeed about race, Ms. Goldberg said: “This is white people doing it to white people, so y’all going to fight amongst yourselves.” Ms. Goldberg apologized and has been suspended for two weeks. Still, I was angry at the ignorance and narrow-mindedness of an entertainer that I admire.
Anger. What a powerful feeling…it is a universal emotion that produces a lot of turmoil in our lives. People reveal many things about their character when they speak and act from anger. Anger is triggered by feelings aroused by perceptions arising from our interpretation of other people’s actions, such as feeling ignored, neglected, overlooked, left out, betrayed, or abandoned. Human beings translate actions as a manifestation of other people’s feelings. When one feels neglected, one might translate it as “I am not loved.” When one feels betrayed, one might interpret it as “I am not important.” In any case, the interpretation of other people’s actions and the translation of their actions as a reflection of their feelings about us results in an unending cycle of anger that has the potential of being very destructive. Something that might have been a simple misunderstanding becomes very damaging and all consuming.
Judaism recognizes that anger is part of our being, and that we must learn how to deal with this feeling in a constructive way.
There is a Hassidic story about Reb Nachman of Bratslav that points out a way of dealing constructively with anger, by understanding “what is happening in the other’s belly.” The story tells us that once there was a prince that all of a sudden took his clothes off, went under the dining room table, and acted and spoke as though he was a turkey. The king, his father, was very worried about the prince, and after many failed attempts to bring the prince out from under the table, called Reb Nachman for help. Reb Nachman came in, and reading the situation in his unique way, took off his clothes and went under the table, talking like a turkey. The prince responded to Reb Nachman in “turkey talk,” and after a while they got up, got dressed and were talking “human talk” again. Reb Nachman understood what was happening in the prince’s belly, the way in which the prince needed to be heard, and with his actions showed the prince that he was ready to listen and be fully present for the prince.
Hearing the other, and trying to understand what is going on inside of them is the way to dismantle the cycle of anger. Reaching out and talking to the person, and trying to make real contact with them builds community. It stops short the snowballing effect of anger, and of talk that demolishes instead of build. Ms. Goldberg evoked a lot of anger from the Jewish community with her careless and ignorant comments. She is now taking the time to listen and learn from her mistakes. I truly hope that Ms. Goldberg understands what happened in our belly, and can learn from her mistakes in order to dissipate anger and bring healing and growth to all.