I used to think that if I understood the language that another person spoke, I understood what the person was saying. This is simply not true. When we talk to each other, we have a set of suppositions based on our own experiences that we impose on the conversation. We think we know what is being said by the other, and we give opinions based on prior assumptions or internalized beliefs that many times are vastly different from what others are saying, thinking, or what they meant by the words they used.
One of the terms that create great confusion is Jewish identity. I have seen it used, and frankly used it myself, without really stopping and thinking about what that really means. I realized that these words mean something different to different people. When we say Jewish identity, what do we mean? In Jewish circles people throw around the term Jewish identity as though they know exactly what is being said. Just take a moment right now, and think about these words, and what they mean to you.
What do you think we mean by Jewish, in the context of identity? And what does identity look like?
When we say Jewish, do we mean it as someone whose outward behavior registers as Jewish by some clearly set norms of actions? When we say identity, are we talking about an inner feeling? We use these words, but their meaning is not universal. Jewish identity can mean that someone self-identifies as Jewish when they are filling out a form or answering a questionnaire. Jewish identity can mean that someone exhibits certain behaviors connected with Jewish observance, from wearing jewelry (a Star of David, for example) to wearing a kippah or tzitzit. It can mean that people feel Jewish.
The term Jewish identity is vague, and is used in the Jewish community as though it is something quantifiable, and that we are experiencing its decline. Therefore we need to sound the alarms that advertise the end of Jewish tradition, and choose the scholars that will propose solutions for averting the demise of the Jewish people. In the meantime, fears proliferate both in Jewish leadership and in the affiliated Jewish community. Before we drown in a sea of worries, I think that everything comes down to the definition of Jewish identity. If Jewish identity is measured by something clearly identifiable, such as numbers of Jews who marry outside the community, by failing to light shabbat candles, by the way Jews fail to structured their weeks, weekends, and years based on a Jewish calendar, by affiliation to Jewish institutions, or other outward behaviors, we might be worried.
Yet I do not think that we are experiencing a crisis of Jewish identity. Without a doubt there is a decline of a halachic, affiliated, Ashkenazy centered, and male Jewish experience. Most of us live in a world that is not exclusively Jewish and the Jewish community nowadays is not strictly white, straight, or identified with the idea of legacy institutions. We live in a time where people understand that gender, sex, and sexual identity are fluid. We live in a time when we are not defined by one single aspect of our personalities. We live in a time where we understand that no one can be put into a neat box, without the possibility of moving. The term Jewish identity is very vague, and does not represent the myriad of Jewish experiences that people are having. The assumption of decline does not embrace the complexity and strength that we are witnessing in Jewish life in America in the beginning of the 21st century. There are amazing things happening in the Jewish community that are not connected with what once were the points of entry and connection—many people are not joining synagogues or Jewish community centers, or donating to the Jewish Federation in the same way they used to do. There are other ways of being Jewish in America, and the creativity is booming, as we witness Jews exploring their Judaism in a variety of creative ways, with music, dance, learning, and prayer groups.
I invite you to think about ways of being Jewish that enhance your connections, that links you with our tradition, that transcends fear and opens up space for a vibrant Jewish experience. At JILLI, we are here to offer you pathways to connection. Please don’t hesitate to reach out in this new year, to explore and live a fulfilling Jewish life, when, where, and how you wish to do it!